I asked,
“What about my eyes?”
I will fill them with tears.
I asked,
“What about my heart?”
I will break it with sorrow.
I asked,
“What about my body?”
I will crush and throw it away.
Crushed and thrown away, in the realms of Darkness. Denied the gift of life and treated like a piece of trifling grime, a tiny fetus thinks, what went wrong? Suddenly, an eternal light surrounded her, the divine radiance, the answer to all her questions, the doors of the wonder of inner spaces and longings lay in her façade.
“Do you know what the music is saying?” it said, “Come follow me and you will find the way. Your mistakes can also lead you to the truth. When you ask, the answer will be given”.
I asked “O enlightened one answer, is the make of my Chromosome which states ‘XX’ my biggest fault? Is that why I have been denoted blemished and deprived of the beautiful existence of a human? Is that why, I have been discarded even before I began my journey? Is that a law in your world?”
“Alas, destiny chose you as one of the many underprivileged souls which live on the very same planet which the Gods created for their most beautiful conception, when god created Man on the sixth day of creation; He knew that the man’s 12th rib would be the source of an extraordinary creature which would have a heart of gold, a tongue of fire and a touch of petals, but the same creature would be the derivation point of war, unlimited pain, suffering and finally the ‘Original Sin’. Little did he know that man would always be jealous of this most astonishing being and would use all his might to incarcerate and dominate her.” Replied the Radiance.
“But how can they count my sins even before I set foot on the world? How can they justify that I was a curse, even before I breathe my first whiff of the worldly air?” I asked.
“The part of the civilization you were about to be born in, the country of the saints, foresees your future just like it is. They sense that it is better for you to depart than to lose your sheen in this cruel world.” The radiance responded.
But I lay there, a spirit robbed of its deserving resurgence, feeling like a mosquito squatted without emotions. A lifeless heap of insignificant nothingness…
“ Don’t feel disappointed companion, come let me tell you your fate, if you would have been allowed to persist your curtailed journey.” Countered the Radiance.
“Initially, if you would have born, you would have conferred as a curse to your parents; your mother would have been nagged and even trampled mercilessly for producing a disgrace in the family which cannot furnish her parents with anything but hardships. You would either have been disposed off by the parents in a retiring nook or if you were lucky, taken as a curse to all their sins to be bought up in a boisterous environment.”
“As you would grow, you would understand that being a girl child was definitely a peccadillo. You would have been asked to handle the household chores even when your elder brother was allowed to play with his friends. You would have been denied education as teaching your brother would have been your parent’s priority. Even if you deserved something, you would have been often shorn of it.”
“Then at the time you graduated into adulthood, you would have become the source of great distress to your parents, you would have become a delicate flower which attracts insects for honey, a flower whose colors defy the laws of unkempt upbringing. Due to the mounting fear of an insurgence, your parents would have married you off at a time when you did not even understand the meaning of connubial liaison.”
“You would have been torn, raped, eaten away by hungry predators who, with all their robust motives desired to drink the honey of your youth, you would have cried, pleaded for mercy, but never has this male dominated world shown mercy on a helpless and insignificant feminine. Your body would have been used as a goblet to taste the acrid wine of lust and you would have hated yourself for being at such a dismal position.”
“But, my heart is so small” I whispered, “its almost invisible. How can you place such big sorrows in it? “Look”, he answered, “your eyes are even smaller, but they behold the world”. I was in awe, the radiance was precise.
“The next step of your chastisement would have been your biggest blessing; your power to create new life, the only reprieve you would have obtained was when you would have delivered a male child, and if you would have been unsuccessful in doing so, your punishment would have been the most relentless. Yes, here we have come in full circle, the same anecdote repeats itself and the plight of the girl-child remains the same.” The radiance explained.
“In a country where the ratio of Male and Female population is 964:1000, the predicament of the female is a strange rite, this even I can’t explain to you…”
“To be or not to be” I said, “is not my dilemma anymore. To break away from both worlds is not bravery. To be unaware of the wonders that exist in me, that was real madness!”
“Its high time, the inhabitants of the country which belongs to the sacred feminine realizes the strength and the importance of the fair sex, history is an alibi of the fact that a women has always been self sacrificing, she sacrifices her happiness for her sibling as a child, as a wife for her husband, as a mother for her child. She is the most humble life benefactor on the planet. Its time, women should be stopped treated as dirt, thrown down the drain for the meager cause of being just a woman.”
“My child, I am a woman too, I have felt the disgrace and the pain, but I no longer sustain the wounds of my injuries, I have implied on the most important rule of woman ness, and that is forgiveness.”
“I have understood, O wise one, and I hope my plight will teach the others too, others who think we are inferior and incapable. But what good do I hold now? What is my destiny now?” I exclaimed.
And then with a remarkable display of arrogance and finality, the radiance whispered.
“You are the cure hidden in the pain.
Concealed in anger and betrayal
Is your compassion and loyalty.
You are not only in Heaven,
I see your footprints
Everywhere on Earth.
